Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Affirm yourself through self-talk

Self-talk determines how we handle life.

Positive affirmations are a good tool to help us face our many challenges. Below is a list of affirmations to use to encourage yourself each day. Set a goal to say all of them to yourself each day. If you are by yourself, say them out loud. Then pick one of them to focus on all day.

1. Even though I fail sometimes, I will succeed by continuing to take steps in the right direction.

2. I feel fine; I really feel good about myself.

3. When I momentarily think that I cannot go on, I remember all the things that I have accomplished and the people who love and support me. I then realize that with God I can go on and I will get through the bad times.

4. Although I do not always display my inner strength, I know that it is there and growing stronger every day.

5. When I become disappointed, I try to look at the positive aspects of my life and I feel better about myself.

6. I can talk myself into a good mood by thinking about pleasant experiences and doing things that I enjoy. See Philippians 4:8.

7. I feel good, I feel great! It will be a good day.

8. I can effectively cope with the daily stresses and hassles in my life.

9. I am here to stay; I will be seen and heard and experience life to its fullest.

10. Life is super when you view its complexity and splendor.

11. My goals are obtainable, and I am confident that my persistence will pay off.

12. Step by step I will put the pieces of my life together.

Let me know how saying these affirmation helps you.

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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Burned Biscuits

This article was sent to me over the internet and I thought it was such a good picture of how to make a relationship work, I decided to include it on my blog. Enjoy!

"When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school.

"I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."

"Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"

"You know, life is full of imperfect things...and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other’s faults - and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship."

That's my prayer for you today...
That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the difficult parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God because in the end, He's the only one who will be able to give you a relationship where a burned biscuit isn't a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!

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Call me at 714- 962-5690

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Revitalizing your special relationship!

Tips to make it sparkle!

• Make your relationship a priority!
• Compliment your partner. Do it often!
• Treat your partner with loving respect. .
• Think about what your partner wants and do it.
• Dress nicely and get into shape.
• Spend time together alone. Schedule it.
• Hug when you say hello and good-bye.
• Really listen to what he/she is saying.
• Be kind in little ways.
• When you want something, say please.
• Be interested in what they are doing.
• Say “I love you,” often. Start now.
• Think of ways you can do the unexpected and be thoughtful.
• Say thank you often.
• Respond gently when you disagree. Be honest, yet kind.
• Ask open-ended questions to encourage your partner to talk.
• Set healthy boundaries with your extended families.
• Have fun together; learn to laugh.
• Stop and think first about what you are going to say.
• List your partner’s positive qualities and share them.
• Respect your partner's need to be his/her own person.
• Plan an extended weekend alone together.

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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Understanding Depression

Are you depressed? 
Depression affects thousands of people in the United States causing havoc to both their personal relationships and professional life. This is a complex condition that often needs multiple treatment modalities. Some effective ones are: cognitive therapy (changing destructive self-talk), learning new coping techniques, exploring childhood issues, spiritual growth and medication.
What are the symptoms?
People who are clinically depressed have a combination of symptoms, including the following:
       Feelings of hopelessness.
       Fatigue or low energy
       Reduced interest or pleasure in your activities
       Low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness
       Feeling old or unattractive
       Excessive or inappropriate guilt
       Difficulty in thinking or concentrating
       Difficulty in making decisions
       Distorted or unrealistic thinking
       Appetite changes with weight gain or loss
       Changes in sleeping patterns
       Suicidal thoughts or thoughts of death
If three or more of these symptoms are present, this is an indication that a person is depressed.

When is professional treatment needed?
Seek professional help if you or a family member has:
       Symptoms that last for a long time.
       Difficulty in daily functioning
       Tendencies to isolate from others
       Persistent thoughts of death or suicide

When is medication helpful?
Medication can be a helpful aid for the recovery of depression. A physician will often recommend medication to a depressed individual This can help lift the person’s affect, enable them to function better and aid them in taking the necessary steps needed to work on good mental health.

Learning new coping skills
  Learn to manage stress.
  Learn to self-soothe yourself using techniques to calm yourself.
  Learn problem-solving skills. 
  Build your life around things you can control.
  Focus on those things you can change and accept those you can’t.
  Focus on the future and not the past

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Friday, July 16, 2010

Choose Happiness

Happy? Seven choices to make!
Be loving and kind to those around you.
Accept what you can't change.
Find joy in the little things. Laugh easily!
Let go of the resentments you carry.
Learn to forgive others - - - quickly. 
Be thankful.  Want what you already have.
Seek God with all your heart.

                                      Susan Garland, Psy.D.
                                          (714) 965-2040
                         Individual, Couples and Family Therapy

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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Choices . . . OpenYourself Up

Open Yourself Up

Quality of life is often determined by the choices you make. Choose to open yourself up to a richer quality of life by making better choices. Choosing to open yourself up in the following ways will help you begin the process:

Open yourself up to more loving and kind to those around you and let go of your impatience with the little things in life that don't really matter.

Open yourself up to accepting  things in your relationships that you can't change and let go of any unrealistic expectations you may have. 

Open yourself up to finding joy in the little things of life which are all around you and let go of your disappointment in not have what you think you need and want.

Open yourself up to forgiving those who have hurt or disappointed you in the past and let go of the resentment and anger that is so heavy and robbing you of today.

Open yourself up to seeing the abundance in your life and be thankful for it and let go of the anguish you feel over all your losses and failures. 

Open yourself up to seeking God and experience the spiritual side of yourself and let go of striving for things that don't really satisfy. 

Of course, the big question is, "How can I?" 
Spend some time thinking about each suggestion and develop some strategies, starting in small ways. Call me for an appointment and I can help you with the process. 714 965 2040.